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Hola!

kings riding a camel... Where is my helmet?Today you should leave your car home and hope for non-overcrowded public transportation. That is due to the famous “Cabalgata de Reyes” (sort of “the kings ride”. And NO, it is not a special spicy sauce from a famous burger restaurant!). This is a massive event to celebrate epiphany, that consists on:

  1. Closing down all mayor center roads.
  2. Dressing up tractors and other bulky, strong, slow and polluting cars (in other words: what in the US standards would be considered a “practical metropolitan vehicle”).
  3. Handing over to as many people as you can a musical instrument and a weird “did-not-make-it-for-super-hero-costume” .
  4. Dressing up three adults in the proper kings costumes.
  5. Putting all of the above in a line
  6. Making them walk through the closed roads for hours and hours.

If you think this all sounds like a non-rated version of “Christopher’s Day” on Prozac, I admit that you got a point…

Also: I recommend you wear a helmet in the streets. How so? Kids love candy, so each of the many cars/tractors transports a ton of “close-to-expiration-date-sweets”. The candy is usually packed and has a minimum weight, so it can be thrown into the expecting crowd. The heavier the candy, the further you can throw it. As per Murphy’s Law, you certainly will get hit on the head by a piece of candy. Hence the helmet…


Today, millions of kids are fed with free sugar simultaneously in all nation. Parents in Spain have today the toughest mission of the year: get their kids to bed. The kids:

  • Are full of sugar after the candy and full of energy after for two weeks vacation
  • Have been waiting for their presents for weeks, while bombarded by TV ads of toys that are scaringly big and expensive…
  • Know which presents they want: ALL!
  • Have seen the kings with “all their present boxes”
  • Think that the same parade that made it through town will pass by their living room to drop the presents.

On top of all, you probably had the chance to attend a session of the famous christmas carols dedicated to the three kings (sung by kids, of course, as mentioned in an earlier post)… Anyone who gets them down before midnight is either a hero, or is using Chloroform… Dear parents: you have my fullest admiration!


What I recommend? Make sure you have a bottle of The Spanish Quarter, or your favorite Spanish wine, for when it all finishes. Have a glass to the health of the kings, Santa, Rudolph, the elves and the holy cow. And pray to God that your kids figure out the next morning how to open and operate the presents by themselves. At least, you might have a chance to sleep in…

Salud!
Francisco

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